I just wrote this on yesand.com and it entertains me:
My To-Do List To Become Conventionally Attractive So I Can Date Some Asshole
1) Lose 70 lbs.
2) Alter my personal aethetic.
3) Start hiding my face under make-up and wearing clothes I find uncomfortable.
4) Spend more time at locations I dislike talking to people I find boring.
5) Start laughing more softly, and at things that aren't necessarily funny.
6) Stop pursuing my own happiness.
Oh shoot. No one will ever marry me and I'll have to live surrounded by friends and family whom I genuinely love and adore. This is all so disappointing. If only I'd thought of this before I started down the path of self-actualization.